Elias stopped breast feeding one week ago today. He came down with a cold and was, I think, struggling to breathe and just threw in the towel. "What was the point anyway," he must have thought. "Nothing's in there for me." As a result, we've had challenges on several fronts, primarily the nap front. And, not to mention the emoitonal challenges that this end has brought up in me, like how my role changes, what do I have to offer him anymore, what does he need me for? (That's probably the biggest) Next thing you know, he'll be asking to sleep in his own room. And as much as that might be a dream for some parents, I'm just not there yet. What's the rush, ya know? He'll be sleeping most of his life away from me. I'm in no hurry to speed up the inevitable. For me, I think Elias's growing up and growing more independent will likely be a difficult load to tow.
On the nap front, we are averaging about 1 hour of work to get that boy to fall asleep. Of course, Brad can do it much easier since he can walk him around until he nods off. I can barely carry him at all given my lumpy baby belly, and not to mention the tremendous pain I am currently experiencing in my back. So, I sttruggle to read him a book in the dark (black-out curtains are crucial for nap) and then sing to him as he wiggles and squirms and fits sleep with all his might. I know he's tired, he can barely keep his eyes open, so he struggles to sit up where it is only natural to open his eyes. It was better today, less angst. I'm glad for that. When Elias is expressly unhappy because of something I am doing, it is very hard to not be filled with question. I'm quite certain that he needs a nap, so I need to keep reminding myself that it is for his own good and he'll be better off for it, for sure. Hopefully, we'll work out the kinks on this process just in time for his baby sister's arrival!
Elias brought home the very worst cold last week, from which Brad and I were both struck down. I fought it as long as I could and just caved on Sunday morning. I still feel as though my head in stuck in a fish bowl, but I do feel so much better. I am determined to not be sick again. It's time for operation hand sanitizer! When we went to grocery store today, I washed Elias's hands both before the cart and after and wiped down the cart. I HATE being sick and just can't go through it again. What an awful position to be in!@?
On the larger front, we moved at the end of January and have just recently gotten internet/DSL again. We are finally settling in, with gobs and gobs of work remaining. I just have to look around and remind myself how bad my back hurts and that things will get completed in time. I'm not a very patient person so this whole experience with the bad back and the cold has been painfully challenging. Oh well, we're all on the mends, with Elias ahead of all in his recovery, so I'll just need to slow down and take care of what it most important. Our family and myself.